How To Manscape Your Ogre

I made this lovely statement necklace from what I swept up off the bathroom floor, after Shrek had been doing a little manscaping.

Since this blog is G-rated, let's say they are his back hairs.

Yeah, uh-huh.  His back hairs.

Here's my tutorial for harvesting these long-and-curlies.

1.  Find an ogre.
2. Mention that the ladies looove a smooth ogre.
3. Ask if he plans on wearing that new Speedo in public.
4. Hand him a Black & Decker hedgetrimmer and beat a strategic retreat.
5. When the roaring stops and he has left the building, sweep up the remains.


Note: if for some reason you can't find an ogre, it's possible to make the necklace from eco-friendly carton strapping.  However, the experience is simply not the same.

Want to make it?  Read on for the quickie tutorial!



What's carton strapping?  It's that super-tough, skinny plastic tape, used for shipping boxes.  Usually it comes in white, but sometimes in other colors.   To turn it into a giant curlicue, simply wrap it really, really tightly around something long and thin, like a knitting needle.  So fun!

To assemble the necklace:

1. Cut a whole bunch of small lengths of curlicue.
2. Use a heated poker to melt a hole near the top of each one.
3. String them onto a short length of craft wire, with small beads in between.
4. Make loops on both ends of the craft wire to hold the beads-and-curlies in place.
5. Optional: add little charms to the two end loops.
6. With jump rings, attach a chain to the two loops.

Done!

Tip: I found it works best to string the curlicues all in the same direction - i.e., thread each one on from either the inside or the outside of the curl.  That way, the whole mess will lie smoothly instead of tangling up.

Where to get carton strapping?   I find it hanging out all over the place!  Like behind groceries, or in the construction aisles of home improvement stores.  Nobody minds if you scoop it up and take it home.  Really!  Nobody minds.

So go ahead...pick up some trash and curlicue your heart out.